all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
