they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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