He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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