I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
