Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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