I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize