just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
