2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
