Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
