my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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