Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize