dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
