he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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