someone threw a dead crab at me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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