were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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