Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
