dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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