I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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