If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
His nipple licking is glorious
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