He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
