I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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