I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
