oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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