the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
