I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
