guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
