it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
