You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
