Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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