God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize