Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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