It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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