hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
