it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
