i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
