she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
