Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
