Are we in a gay sports bar?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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