another moral hangover. fuck.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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