Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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