somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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