she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
A bitchslap is in order.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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