I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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