Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
