Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
