i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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