Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
