she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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