thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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