This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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