He is an equal opportunity slut.
high people should be assigned attendants
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
