there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
