I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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