I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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