Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
