Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
