He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
