Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Houston, we have a blender
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
