Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You left your phone here
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