what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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