Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
