whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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