The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize