I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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