I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
