i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
