I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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