they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
