Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
