i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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