And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
