Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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