rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize